Sweet Sweet Escape!

I did it - I ran away!
Just temporarily.  From home.  And responsibility.

It has been demonstrated to me in the past by my own actions that if I just take a little break now and again, I love my babies more.  Oh man, do I feel good right now.  I love them to DEATH right now - b/c they aren't with me! ha!  Just kidding - but not really.

This weekend has been mega-mommy breakdown/burnout weekend - so much thinking about life, I needed to really think about what I need.  And that is something that us mom's (well at least this one) don't do enough. 
I have said more than once in the past couple weeks that I am in a constant identity crisis... this is only 1/2 a joke. (Why do you think I change the background on my blog so often?!)   I have been - b/c I stay home with my kidlettes I feel like I have lost a little teeny bit of me.  My personal interests have waned and there are times when I wonder what at all I like to do.

Big Daddy and I have had some stress in our lives as of late - mostly centering on the "economic downturn" or, as I like to call it, the day the Earth imploded.  Things are more under control now, but fallout from said implosion was widespread.  So we are still recovering.  It will all be ok.  But it's just getting through it.  And as a man, Big Daddy has his own coping mechanisms that I try to honor. 
But his mechanisms and my mechanisms are not the same. 
Our needs are not the same.
So while I need hugs and reaffirmations and the like, as any semi-self-confidence deficient girl does, he needs to play video game and melt away for hours on end in front of the tv.

Like I said, I try to honor this, but even he knows it's been too much lately. 
You know that book, The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman?  I read it about 2 months or so after #2 was born and it kept us out of counseling (again).  BD may not think so, but believe me, it did. 
And I realized as of late and he realized a bit sooner than normal, too, that I need my love language.  I need Quality Time.  I need talking to and connection and involvement.  I can't just go about life going through the motions.  Feed, Clothe, Sleep, Feed, Sleep, Feed, Change Diaper, Sleep.  Nope, can't do it.

But as much as I need HIS QT, I need peace for me - I need decompression time sans kiddos. 
The overall plan would be for he and I to be able to go on a date night - maybe once a month, optimally more.  Schedules will dictate that.  In the meantime, I will continue my escapism.  I need to do this - perhaps every other week I should at least.  If I had my choice I would go solo to a BAR w/ WiFi instead of this Panera (although the broccoli cheese soup was delish) so I could have a beer.  Or perhaps I will join a wine club - seem to be lots of those around.  Maybe the next time I run away, it will be with a nice friendly.  I love to have dinner with a friendly.  I mean, I love to have dinner with a friendly, seriously.  Oh eating, how I love thee.  A nice leisurely dinner and a drink or two, munching, drinking, talking, laughing. 

Heaven.