The power of the positive attitude.
Is awesome if you know how to get it.
That is MY eternal quest, to combat the pos with the neg and to always stay in the pos even when i really want to be in the neg.
Fear is so powerful. Who knew it could be so controlling and debilitating.
It's true you know, you can be controlled by fears, even little ones. It doesn't have to be the fear of leaving your house or of people or of car crashes or of flies. It can be fear of failure or rejection or of really being the dummy you're afraid you are.
How do you overcome fear?
Face it.
And... how would you do that?
Who knows.
Life is perception.
How you perceive your world and what happens to you or around you will determine how you respond or react to it.
Stop and think, what are the top 5 most horrible things that could ever happen to you?
Death of my husband or my kids
Crazy earthquake that causes CA to fall into the ocean
Aliens come down and decimate the earth
Suffering a horrible death way too young or losing an appendage
Being destitute and living out of my car
And what are the actual REAL chances those things could happen?
Plausible but remote. Honestly. i spose those things *could* happen, but the possibility is in reality pretty remote.
And that is my top 5, so why should I care and let control me, the other 537 things that I'm afraid of?
What will happen if X doesn't happen? Will I die? Prob not.
Will I be sad and/or uncomfortable? Most likely.
But at one time it was uncomfortable to walk, I would have rather crawled, but i did it.
At one time I was uncomfortable putting on my own clothes, but I did it.
At one time, I was uncomfortable doing my laundry or cooking or taking a shower or driving but I did it and now it's no big deal.
Challenges used to be exciting to me. So why are they so awful now?
Maybe that's what needs to be remembered, it's a challenge, see if you can conquer it.
Remember that there are good things everywhere in everything.
People are pulling for you everywhere.
Just keep going! Keep climbing!
Turn EVERY negative into a POSITIVE in your brain.
Someone cuts you off... at least I'm in a hurry like *that*.
Someone is mean to you... at least I have love in my heart to help others instead of hurt them.
Someone confuses you... thank you for my clear thinking.
Someone angers you... why? Are you not getting what you want or did they hurt your feelings or are they being stubborn? You can find another way.
Perception.
Life is hard. It sucks sometimes. But there are positives everywhere. You have to realize them and focus on them. Then the negs just... float.... away......
Thank you God for giving me the power to remain calm in the face of turmoil. Thank you for the power to love instead of hate. Thank you for giving me challenges to rejoice in, in order to create perseverance and character and hope (Rom 5:3-5). Thank you for your love.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The inner battle
Wow - a week and a half - where does the time go?
Been doing a lot.
Went away for 2.5 days to Palm Springs - heaven. Stayed at a decent, quiet hotel and treated myself to some spa action. Spent lots of time alone and quiet and watched Dexter on my laptop from the comfort of my solitude. Ahhh. Just what the doctor ordered. Only needed a couple more days and I would have been 100%. I left at about 85% so I count that as a victory since I arrived at about 35%.
I feel like everyday has been busy.
Tues and Today Maggie had school. Wednesday we went down to the Zoo, awesome but packed - and with 3 other moms and 6 other kiddos, it was busy keeping track of everyone.
Monday was chore day.
Tomorrow going to watch Alex for a bit and maybe Evan too.
Jim leaves tomorrow for fishing in Mexico all weekend (joy) and I really hope he brings back some good fish. Or the trip will be for naught in my book.
I have to get back in the groove. I need my business to flow. But I am stuck.
I am scared. I'm not sure what of, but I'm scared.
It's hard. I feel like I can't really afford a babysitter so how and I sposed to have appts?
I want to be big - but how do I get there.
Why don't people EVER call me back? Ever??
Is there something about me? Do I not sound friendly enough or enthusiastic enough?
Inspire myself.
How?
Believe in myself.
How?
Be confident.
Again, how?
Self confidence comes from within.
You have to self talk yourself into positive self talk.
But if your history lends itself to negative self talk, how would one overcome such bad self talk to get to the good self talk?
Do you tell your negative self talk to take a hike and there's a new sheriff in town named Positive self talk?
Does this sound a little schizophrenic to anyone else?
And why does my inner voice sound like Michael C Hall?
It goes back to going a little crazy inside b/c I have no outlets.
I am discouraged b/c I expect awesome things to happen at each appt and they rarely do.
Where is this awesome success I hear about and even see with some other consultants?
Am I not qualified?
Am I not skilled enough?
Am I the loser I feel like I am?
Am I the loser I'm scare that I really am but don't want to admit to which makes me even more of a loser?
One of these days it will all make sense.
Give it a chance, give it a break.
Roll with it.
Blah Blah Blah
I don't believe a word I'm writing.
But what else can you do, you have to move fwd right?
This I do believe.
Now, how?
Been doing a lot.
Went away for 2.5 days to Palm Springs - heaven. Stayed at a decent, quiet hotel and treated myself to some spa action. Spent lots of time alone and quiet and watched Dexter on my laptop from the comfort of my solitude. Ahhh. Just what the doctor ordered. Only needed a couple more days and I would have been 100%. I left at about 85% so I count that as a victory since I arrived at about 35%.
I feel like everyday has been busy.
Tues and Today Maggie had school. Wednesday we went down to the Zoo, awesome but packed - and with 3 other moms and 6 other kiddos, it was busy keeping track of everyone.
Monday was chore day.
Tomorrow going to watch Alex for a bit and maybe Evan too.
Jim leaves tomorrow for fishing in Mexico all weekend (joy) and I really hope he brings back some good fish. Or the trip will be for naught in my book.
I have to get back in the groove. I need my business to flow. But I am stuck.
I am scared. I'm not sure what of, but I'm scared.
It's hard. I feel like I can't really afford a babysitter so how and I sposed to have appts?
I want to be big - but how do I get there.
Why don't people EVER call me back? Ever??
Is there something about me? Do I not sound friendly enough or enthusiastic enough?
Inspire myself.
How?
Believe in myself.
How?
Be confident.
Again, how?
Self confidence comes from within.
You have to self talk yourself into positive self talk.
But if your history lends itself to negative self talk, how would one overcome such bad self talk to get to the good self talk?
Do you tell your negative self talk to take a hike and there's a new sheriff in town named Positive self talk?
Does this sound a little schizophrenic to anyone else?
And why does my inner voice sound like Michael C Hall?
It goes back to going a little crazy inside b/c I have no outlets.
I am discouraged b/c I expect awesome things to happen at each appt and they rarely do.
Where is this awesome success I hear about and even see with some other consultants?
Am I not qualified?
Am I not skilled enough?
Am I the loser I feel like I am?
Am I the loser I'm scare that I really am but don't want to admit to which makes me even more of a loser?
One of these days it will all make sense.
Give it a chance, give it a break.
Roll with it.
Blah Blah Blah
I don't believe a word I'm writing.
But what else can you do, you have to move fwd right?
This I do believe.
Now, how?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Trust vs Control
Can you have both at the same time?
Don't you have to relinquish control at some point if you are truly going to trust?
Have you ever wondered why certain people are always wound up or always frantic?
Why are they always plotting or scheming or figuring or planning?
I think it's b/c they don't have any trust, faith, belief. In anything.
One person cannot do it alone. One person cannot always figure everything out all the time. It's maddening to try to do so (trust me).
At some point in time you have to give your control over to someone else. You have to trust someone/thing else.
I chose to trust God. I was at a point where I didn't know what to do or where to turn or how to go from A to B. But I trusted in God. It took A LOT of practice. I had to train myself to not worry and scheme and lament over all the possibilities or lack thereof.
The Bible says:
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
TRUST. LEAN. ACKNOWLEDGE. STRAIGHT.
Think about this. Lean not on your own understanding... isn't that basically saying to lean on God. Trust in Him. Obey and acknowledge him and HE will make your way straight.
I don't take this literally. That He is going to have you wake up the next day and have an epiphany. But if you look and think and feel through the Holy Spirit, you will see what the right path is to take.
How amazingly freeing is this? Have you tried it?
Stop pretending you know what to do. You know you don't. That is why you are so beside yourself all the time and worried and upset. Give it to God. Put it in his hands. He has given all of us a structure of what to do... guidelines, rules.
Really there are only 2... Love God and love others.
Can it be that easy?
But think about it -when you are upset at someone. When someone irritates you.
Love them.
When you are sad.
Love God.
When you want more.
Love God.
Isn't loving God, serving God?
Isn't serving God, obeying God?
Isn't obeying God, loving our enemy as much as our friends?
Love God, love others.
Trust in God. Lean NOT on your own understanding. In ALL ways acknowledge HIM. He will make your path straight.
Trust. Obey. Love. Listen.
You know.
Sometimes reality is not reality. Sometimes it so hard to see the truth of what it is, you can't. Sometimes you don't want to see it. You don't want to know it. You don't want to admit it. Admitting trust is admitting you don't have control. If you don't have control, who will?
You can't change the past. You can't take an illness away. You can't make damage undone. But to accept a piece lost, to accept a piece different. That is painful. Don't you need God most of all then? Who's going to pull you through?
No one wants to admit when you are not as you were.
If you aren't there yet, that's ok.
My fear controls me as yours does you.
I'll pray for you - I'll pray for your peace and I'll pray for your clarity.
I'll pray for your ability to trust in God and lay your worries at his feet.
Matthew 6:25-26
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
Don't you have to relinquish control at some point if you are truly going to trust?
Have you ever wondered why certain people are always wound up or always frantic?
Why are they always plotting or scheming or figuring or planning?
I think it's b/c they don't have any trust, faith, belief. In anything.
One person cannot do it alone. One person cannot always figure everything out all the time. It's maddening to try to do so (trust me).
At some point in time you have to give your control over to someone else. You have to trust someone/thing else.
I chose to trust God. I was at a point where I didn't know what to do or where to turn or how to go from A to B. But I trusted in God. It took A LOT of practice. I had to train myself to not worry and scheme and lament over all the possibilities or lack thereof.
The Bible says:
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
TRUST. LEAN. ACKNOWLEDGE. STRAIGHT.
Think about this. Lean not on your own understanding... isn't that basically saying to lean on God. Trust in Him. Obey and acknowledge him and HE will make your way straight.
I don't take this literally. That He is going to have you wake up the next day and have an epiphany. But if you look and think and feel through the Holy Spirit, you will see what the right path is to take.
How amazingly freeing is this? Have you tried it?
Stop pretending you know what to do. You know you don't. That is why you are so beside yourself all the time and worried and upset. Give it to God. Put it in his hands. He has given all of us a structure of what to do... guidelines, rules.
Really there are only 2... Love God and love others.
Can it be that easy?
But think about it -when you are upset at someone. When someone irritates you.
Love them.
When you are sad.
Love God.
When you want more.
Love God.
Isn't loving God, serving God?
Isn't serving God, obeying God?
Isn't obeying God, loving our enemy as much as our friends?
Love God, love others.
Trust in God. Lean NOT on your own understanding. In ALL ways acknowledge HIM. He will make your path straight.
Trust. Obey. Love. Listen.
You know.
Sometimes reality is not reality. Sometimes it so hard to see the truth of what it is, you can't. Sometimes you don't want to see it. You don't want to know it. You don't want to admit it. Admitting trust is admitting you don't have control. If you don't have control, who will?
You can't change the past. You can't take an illness away. You can't make damage undone. But to accept a piece lost, to accept a piece different. That is painful. Don't you need God most of all then? Who's going to pull you through?
No one wants to admit when you are not as you were.
If you aren't there yet, that's ok.
My fear controls me as yours does you.
I'll pray for you - I'll pray for your peace and I'll pray for your clarity.
I'll pray for your ability to trust in God and lay your worries at his feet.
Matthew 6:25-26
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Even the best laid plans...
Today at church the message was great.
When you're a kid, it's like you hear the same thing over and over and over. Don't do this or don't do that. Don't go there, don't go here. Don't stand up, don't sit down. It's all the same.
But when we "grow up", we never have that guidance anymore. I, for one, always have searched for guidance. I guess I feel like the guidance I had was not that super awesome, so I searched for something better. It took me until a couple years ago to find it at church and that God that everyone was talking about.
Where I grew up, it was a dirty word to be Christan. Now I am proud of it, mostly because I know what that means to me. I don't have to pound it down your throat. Kinda like a kid... if you choke them with something, they don't want it. But if you live it and breathe it and show it in example, it will be picked up.
Today was Joshua 7. Basically this kid named Achan (like oh my achin') stole some plunder from God. Whoops. And then hid it (guilty) and lied about it (dummy). God knows all, so he called them out. Joshua had to facilitate finding who it was and found good ole Achan. When he was confronted, he caved and confessed. And then was stoned and burned. God was pissed at him, what do you expect.
But the BEST part is the start of Ch. 8. So Achan is stoned and burned and all his stuff and people are like oh crap, I better not steal from God. Then on the next battle, the Isrealites are successful again and God says, get this,
(Jos 8:2) "You shall do to Ai and its king as you did to Jericho and its king, except that you may carry off their plunder and livestock for yourselves. Set an ambush behind the city."
Get it. Achan took what he wasn't supposed to and paid with his life. If only he had NOT and waited until they overtook Ai, he would have had alllll he wanted! But he got greedy and tried to get it now. His plan backfired... big time.
So I think, how many times have I tried to get something before God wanted to give it to me? How many times did I jump the gun and get screwed? Probably lots. Who knows. I could be in a different spot maybe. But hindsight IS 20-20. I know that I have turned away from things that were perfectly good, only to, in fact, find something better, just b/c a little voice in my head said to move on (HS?).
This is not the first time I have heard this lesson. I like hearing things over and over. This was coupled with the message that someone else's ruin can affect me too. Like who you hang around affects you, whether you know it or like it or not.
Christian fellowship is key. CHRISTIAN fellowship.
Obedience is key.
FAITH is key.
Having the humility and balls to admit that YOU DON'T CONTROL IT.
Let it roll, people, let it roll.
Let God's plan be your plan even if you don't know what that plan is.
I dare you.
When you're a kid, it's like you hear the same thing over and over and over. Don't do this or don't do that. Don't go there, don't go here. Don't stand up, don't sit down. It's all the same.
But when we "grow up", we never have that guidance anymore. I, for one, always have searched for guidance. I guess I feel like the guidance I had was not that super awesome, so I searched for something better. It took me until a couple years ago to find it at church and that God that everyone was talking about.
Where I grew up, it was a dirty word to be Christan. Now I am proud of it, mostly because I know what that means to me. I don't have to pound it down your throat. Kinda like a kid... if you choke them with something, they don't want it. But if you live it and breathe it and show it in example, it will be picked up.
Today was Joshua 7. Basically this kid named Achan (like oh my achin') stole some plunder from God. Whoops. And then hid it (guilty) and lied about it (dummy). God knows all, so he called them out. Joshua had to facilitate finding who it was and found good ole Achan. When he was confronted, he caved and confessed. And then was stoned and burned. God was pissed at him, what do you expect.
But the BEST part is the start of Ch. 8. So Achan is stoned and burned and all his stuff and people are like oh crap, I better not steal from God. Then on the next battle, the Isrealites are successful again and God says, get this,
(Jos 8:2) "You shall do to Ai and its king as you did to Jericho and its king, except that you may carry off their plunder and livestock for yourselves. Set an ambush behind the city."
Get it. Achan took what he wasn't supposed to and paid with his life. If only he had NOT and waited until they overtook Ai, he would have had alllll he wanted! But he got greedy and tried to get it now. His plan backfired... big time.
So I think, how many times have I tried to get something before God wanted to give it to me? How many times did I jump the gun and get screwed? Probably lots. Who knows. I could be in a different spot maybe. But hindsight IS 20-20. I know that I have turned away from things that were perfectly good, only to, in fact, find something better, just b/c a little voice in my head said to move on (HS?).
This is not the first time I have heard this lesson. I like hearing things over and over. This was coupled with the message that someone else's ruin can affect me too. Like who you hang around affects you, whether you know it or like it or not.
Christian fellowship is key. CHRISTIAN fellowship.
Obedience is key.
FAITH is key.
Having the humility and balls to admit that YOU DON'T CONTROL IT.
Let it roll, people, let it roll.
Let God's plan be your plan even if you don't know what that plan is.
I dare you.
I love a good morning...
Maggie and JJ slept in (a little) and Maggie came up and got in bed all sweet and nice and smiley. Not demanding or anything. It was such a nice morning... Not even any terradactyl screams from Jayna!
The weather is lovely, not too hot yet. I have a lovely lunch date today with one of my besties. The SIL is watching the girls, so I'm rolling solo. And we are *finally* going to church at the new campus! Maggie is so excited to see her new room and I'm sure Jayna is in her own way too. I am thrilled, I've been looking forward to this for a while. Since Growth Group ended for the summer, I, as usual, have been having a hard time finding time with God. But I know I have to, I feel it. He's wanting me to be close again and I need his support too. Stoked. Oh, AND I got an order from a customer this morning. Awesome.
The only draw back to today, and it's a big one... Jim has to work. Again.
Next weekend he'll have them all to himself though!
I think this Sunday's gonna be goooood!
The weather is lovely, not too hot yet. I have a lovely lunch date today with one of my besties. The SIL is watching the girls, so I'm rolling solo. And we are *finally* going to church at the new campus! Maggie is so excited to see her new room and I'm sure Jayna is in her own way too. I am thrilled, I've been looking forward to this for a while. Since Growth Group ended for the summer, I, as usual, have been having a hard time finding time with God. But I know I have to, I feel it. He's wanting me to be close again and I need his support too. Stoked. Oh, AND I got an order from a customer this morning. Awesome.
The only draw back to today, and it's a big one... Jim has to work. Again.
Next weekend he'll have them all to himself though!
I think this Sunday's gonna be goooood!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Cluster
What a day.
I have an appointment and when I left the house, I didn't even know if she was going to be there. She calls 15 min before appointment time (no, i wasn't there either) and says she's bringing 5 people. Sweet and oh crap at the same time.
So I zoom over and get there and nothing... and nothing... then I hear about this gnarly traffic on the highway. Awesome. And nothing. So I call again... no answer. She calls back, still coming... still waiting. Like seriously an hour late she gets there. I do her whole skin care myself (which is fine, but not the plan). Like as fast as I could b/c I don't have all day you know. I have a babysitter at home on the clock. Tick, Tick, Tick... cha-ching.
Anyway, it went well. So far my 2 experiences with this woman have been less than ordinary. But she is a very person and sweet and happy. So I guess that's all I could ask for. If her life were a cluster like this and she were a bitch, I don't think we would be doing much business.
Come home, girls are great. Babysitter was awesome. Everyone's tired and we all take naps. Ahhh.
A haiku to illustrate my day in words... I call it 'Cluster'.
You never know how it will be
Almost a cluster
But turned out OK after all.
I have an appointment and when I left the house, I didn't even know if she was going to be there. She calls 15 min before appointment time (no, i wasn't there either) and says she's bringing 5 people. Sweet and oh crap at the same time.
So I zoom over and get there and nothing... and nothing... then I hear about this gnarly traffic on the highway. Awesome. And nothing. So I call again... no answer. She calls back, still coming... still waiting. Like seriously an hour late she gets there. I do her whole skin care myself (which is fine, but not the plan). Like as fast as I could b/c I don't have all day you know. I have a babysitter at home on the clock. Tick, Tick, Tick... cha-ching.
Anyway, it went well. So far my 2 experiences with this woman have been less than ordinary. But she is a very person and sweet and happy. So I guess that's all I could ask for. If her life were a cluster like this and she were a bitch, I don't think we would be doing much business.
Come home, girls are great. Babysitter was awesome. Everyone's tired and we all take naps. Ahhh.
A haiku to illustrate my day in words... I call it 'Cluster'.
You never know how it will be
Almost a cluster
But turned out OK after all.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Star date July 16, 2010 - 16 years in the future....
just kidding.
This is my attempt at blogging #2.
I'm a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom of 2 girls, a husband, a dog and a fish.
I have very few outlets, outlets to talk to adults, outlets to exercise, outlets to not lose my mind. FEW and I mean F.E.W. and far between.
So here I go again. This is for me.
Maggie is beautiful. I look at her and wonder how she got to be so beautiful. She is a wonderfully curious and determined 2 and a half year old. Amazing. She tries my very very last nerve on a daily basis. It is a miracle that as to date I have not dropped her off at a police station or fire house. From the word 'go', the girls been a handful. Born 6 weeks early, I am convinced more every day that she simply didn't want to be inside anymore. She had about every infant issue one could have... thrush, C Diff infection from antibiotics, rashes galore, skin staph infections. How did I make it? Oh, and cow's protein sensitivity which meant for the 7.5 months she nursed, no diary for mama. Did you hear that Maggie? I gave up F'ing cheese for you... and ice cream, and sour cream. SOUR CREAM, Maggie. For SEVEN months. That was a hard one.
She mellowed and she is now very active, social, verbal and expressive. I have no idea where she gets these traits. :) Of course we are deep in the 2's. Lots of "i want to do that myself", "i don't want to...", etc, so on and so forth.
But in the end, she is amazing.
Jayna (J.J.) is 8.5 months old and the exact opposite. She is easy going, hardly complains, is smart and persistent, but will accept redirection. Jayna plays with toys! This is a revelation for me. Maggie never did. I love that JJ does! JJ has, as of yet *knock on wood*, NOT had any issues. Not one. She nursed great. I had to wean her earlier than I wanted because I couldn't keep up with her anymore and Maggie's constant need for me was impeding the cause. She still insists upon dead-man dragging herself across the floor and not picking up her big ole belly. She can, she can pull herself all the way up to standing, so I know she is strong enough. I honestly feel it's because she is perfectly happy doing it the way she is. She is slowly starting to want to move faster. But for now she's fine. She JUST, like yesterday, got her first tooth. But she eats whatever she can get her fingers on anyway. I do markedly notice with her that she has very deliberate movements. Picking something up with fingers, forefinger and thumb, no problem. M at this age was willy-nilly all over the place with her hands. Food was everywhere in seconds with her. JJ can eat a whole mean and barely be dirty. Love that about her. I can't wait to see the young lady she becomes.
I went to undergraduate college at Northern Michigan University where I made some lifelong friends and first experienced free-choice. What a concept, man. I earned a BS in Health Ed / Phys Ed and finished the Athletic Training program.
I went on to Michigan State University for a MS in Kinesiology with emphasis in Athletic Training.
Upon finishing that in 2002 I moved to San Diego, CA to move in with my boyfriend and now husband, Jim. He's great and he's my best friend and partner. I feel so lucky that I met him that fateful night in Vegas!
We married in 2005 in SD and live have lived in Vista since 2004.
This is my place to say what needs to get out of my head. No one will probably ever read this, and I don't care. This blog is my someone to talk to. The inner musings of me. Be forewarned, this will not be a kid friendly blog. This is mine. Mine fine rhyme. Although, there may not be any rhyming.
I do like a nice Haiku occasionally though.
People tell me pretty regular - you need to write these things down.
Perhaps I will start.
just kidding.
This is my attempt at blogging #2.
I'm a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom of 2 girls, a husband, a dog and a fish.
I have very few outlets, outlets to talk to adults, outlets to exercise, outlets to not lose my mind. FEW and I mean F.E.W. and far between.
So here I go again. This is for me.
Maggie is beautiful. I look at her and wonder how she got to be so beautiful. She is a wonderfully curious and determined 2 and a half year old. Amazing. She tries my very very last nerve on a daily basis. It is a miracle that as to date I have not dropped her off at a police station or fire house. From the word 'go', the girls been a handful. Born 6 weeks early, I am convinced more every day that she simply didn't want to be inside anymore. She had about every infant issue one could have... thrush, C Diff infection from antibiotics, rashes galore, skin staph infections. How did I make it? Oh, and cow's protein sensitivity which meant for the 7.5 months she nursed, no diary for mama. Did you hear that Maggie? I gave up F'ing cheese for you... and ice cream, and sour cream. SOUR CREAM, Maggie. For SEVEN months. That was a hard one.
She mellowed and she is now very active, social, verbal and expressive. I have no idea where she gets these traits. :) Of course we are deep in the 2's. Lots of "i want to do that myself", "i don't want to...", etc, so on and so forth.
But in the end, she is amazing.
Jayna (J.J.) is 8.5 months old and the exact opposite. She is easy going, hardly complains, is smart and persistent, but will accept redirection. Jayna plays with toys! This is a revelation for me. Maggie never did. I love that JJ does! JJ has, as of yet *knock on wood*, NOT had any issues. Not one. She nursed great. I had to wean her earlier than I wanted because I couldn't keep up with her anymore and Maggie's constant need for me was impeding the cause. She still insists upon dead-man dragging herself across the floor and not picking up her big ole belly. She can, she can pull herself all the way up to standing, so I know she is strong enough. I honestly feel it's because she is perfectly happy doing it the way she is. She is slowly starting to want to move faster. But for now she's fine. She JUST, like yesterday, got her first tooth. But she eats whatever she can get her fingers on anyway. I do markedly notice with her that she has very deliberate movements. Picking something up with fingers, forefinger and thumb, no problem. M at this age was willy-nilly all over the place with her hands. Food was everywhere in seconds with her. JJ can eat a whole mean and barely be dirty. Love that about her. I can't wait to see the young lady she becomes.
I went to undergraduate college at Northern Michigan University where I made some lifelong friends and first experienced free-choice. What a concept, man. I earned a BS in Health Ed / Phys Ed and finished the Athletic Training program.
I went on to Michigan State University for a MS in Kinesiology with emphasis in Athletic Training.
Upon finishing that in 2002 I moved to San Diego, CA to move in with my boyfriend and now husband, Jim. He's great and he's my best friend and partner. I feel so lucky that I met him that fateful night in Vegas!
We married in 2005 in SD and live have lived in Vista since 2004.
This is my place to say what needs to get out of my head. No one will probably ever read this, and I don't care. This blog is my someone to talk to. The inner musings of me. Be forewarned, this will not be a kid friendly blog. This is mine. Mine fine rhyme. Although, there may not be any rhyming.
I do like a nice Haiku occasionally though.
People tell me pretty regular - you need to write these things down.
Perhaps I will start.
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